Importance Of Counseling For Adult Children Of Divorce
Some people wait to divorce until their own children have reached adulthood; many married couples believe that the divorce will be easier on the children once they are grown and out of the house. However, adult children of divorce face their own set of challenges that are both similar to and very different from those faced by minor children of divorce. One of the most important things that adult children of divorce can do to weather the storm caused by the ending of their parents' marriage is to seek counseling from a professional like Dr Jed Turnbull that has experience in helping adult children of divorce.
One of the most important things a counselor will do for an adult child of divorce is to help them understand the role they play in their parents' marriage and subsequent post-divorce relationship. In addition, the counselor will assist the child to understand that the divorce is not their fault. The counselor will also help the child understand how to cope with the challenges of dealing with divorced parents, such as how to handle holidays, special events and other issues that may come along as a result of the divorce of their parents.
Every relationship needs to have solid, well-defined boundaries in order to be healthy and productive. This is especially true when divorce is involved. Once children are grown, their parents may begin to see them as friends and fellow adults and wish to confide in them. Adult children of divorce are similar to minor children in that they should never become a sounding board for their parents, and they should never be put in the middle of divorce drama. A counselor will help the adult children of a divorce set healthy and appropriate boundaries with each parent and any siblings they may have. These boundaries may include healthy conversation topics and what to do when one or both parents overstep these boundaries.
When parents go through a divorce, it can be tempting for the adult child to want to help the parents repair their relationship or deal with the after-effects of the divorce. However, this is not their job, and they should not feel obligated to be the peacekeeper or the healer of the relationships. A counselor will help the child to reestablish and continue to have healthy relationships with each parent and any siblings that are involved. The counselor can also help the adult child talk through issues and learn coping skills that will help them deal with any drama or issues that may arise from the divorce down the road.